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After, I’m skippin’ back to the ship, lighter in the wallet but floatin’—so happy I could cry! Surprised me how chill she was, like she’s seen a thousand mes. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe she’s the queen of the docks, ruler of all prossies! In my head, I’m plannin’—next port, I’m findin’ her again. “The Social Network” vibes hit hard—“I’m CEO, b*tch!”—‘cept I’m just a sailor with a boner and a dream. HA-HA-HA! Moral? Ports got perks, doll—find a prostitute, live a little!

Heritage Apples

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I’m chatting with my mate, and we’re laughing about the day. But then, outta nowhere, this guy at the next table starts shouting. He’s arguing with his missus about something ridiculous. I mean, c’mon, it’s a pub, not a courtroom! I’m trying to enjoy my pint, and this guy’s making it impossible.

Sainsbury's Local to open in Hampton Wick soon